My hands are sweating, my mind goes blank, the sound inside my head rivals a freight train, a thousand horse hooves trod upon my chest, my throat is closing, my whole body is shaking, I can't breathe...I EXPLODE. Then there's the tears, the snot, the complete emotional turmoil, and the inability to be reasoned with. That's an anxiety attack for me. It happens monthly, sometimes weekly. If it sounds all too familiar, I'm sorry. You're not alone and I know, I KNOW, that sometimes you don't want to hear that other people have it worse or that they go through the same thing as you, because in a way, it makes it seem like your issues are not as important or that they seem minuscule. Well, guess what? THEY ARE IMPORTANT. 100% real. Never doubt what you feel.
Now, on a daily basis, my anxiety is a little different. I forget things easily, I mix up my words if I'm overly anxious, I stutter, I shut down, and I have a really hard time doings things that people ask of me. What if I do it wrong? What if they don't like it? Blah. Blah. Blah. It's exhausting. Doing things to the BEST of my ability is hard because I overthink things so much that I don't do them. To others I might seem lazy or dumb. I'm not. You're not either. In case you needed to hear that today. You are not dumb. You are not lazy. You are magnificent.
What I've learned so far? Surround yourself with people who don't think you're broken or that you're crazy. That's number one. Find things that calm your mind and write them down and write why they calm you down. That way when it comes to the point where you think that calming tool is not working, you can look back and reflect on it. Reflect and revise. Trial and error. That's what life with a mental illness is like. Everyone is different and what might work for them, might not work for you. I know, that's a statement said too much but it's true. Find what works for YOU!
I will get in to more detail about each of these things in due time! Please subscribe and let me know what you think!